My Mind Wandered (and it never came back)

Mama is ninety-three years old. She often scolds meto keep in touch. I thought this would be the perfect
for being forgetful. "Lord-a-mercy, Young'un," she'llway to get her name, so I said, "oh, you'll need to
say, shaking her head at me. "I'll declare if yougive me your phone number." She smiled and waved
wouldn't forget your rear end and leave it in the chairit away as she rounded the pork 'n' bean aisle. "I'm in
if it wasn't already in your pants."I don't get angry atthe phone book. "Some people are good with dates.
her for scolding me. For one thing, at my age, it's niceI'm not. The only date I can remember is the one my
to be called a "young'un" and in the second placesister set me up with. Boy was he a...oops, wrong
she's right. I can't remember my own phone numberkind of date. Now where was I? Oh yes...My birth
some days.Like the other day when I wrote a checkyear is about the only date I can remember.
at the store and the cashier asked to see mySometimes I have to count backward to figure out
driver's license." ...or, just give me your driver's licensemy age.And don't you hate it when someone asks,
number if know it. I need to write it on your"What was the name of that song, movie, book,
check."After I got up off the floor and stoppedperson..." or whatever they are trying to remember?
laughing, I handed her my driver's license. She mustThis makes me crazy. If they had not asked me, I
have been kidding. Right?According to an article Iprobably would've remembered it. But since they put
read from The American Academy of Familyme on the spot, my brain keeps getting a 404
Physicians."Beginning when you're in your 20s, youpage-not-found error. Then I spend the entire night in
begin to lose brain cells a few at a time. Your bodysleepless anguish, trying to remember it. And then it
also starts to make less of the chemicals your braincomes to me all of a sudden when I'm least
cells need to work. The older you are, the moreexpecting it, like in the middle of a church service or
these changes can affect your memory. Aging maywhile I'm waiting in line at the bank. Then I get all
affect memory by changing the way your brainthese funny looks from strangers when I jump up
stores information and by making it harder to recalland down and yell out the answer.My doctor's office
stored information. "Could this be sort of like whenstarted a new service a few months ago. Now they
your computer's hard disk needs defragmenting? Icall the day before and confirm the appointments for
think something happens to our memory files afterthe following morning. I'm really glad of this for it
we pass the forty year/five million mile marker,helps me remember to not forget to show up.
whichever comes first. I always say mine is neitherHowever, it may not be a service at all. Maybe I'm
age nor mileage. It's all those sudden stops that havethe only one they call?Mega Memory, a new product
worn me down. Too bad we can't just run scan disk,on the market developed by a gentleman named
defrag, then reboot our brains.I miss my mind. I reallyKevin Trudeau claims to teach techniques that
do. I miss the old days when I could rememberstimulate neurotransmitters in your brain to instantly
everything I needed to buy at the market withoutincrease your memory and mental capacity. There
making a list. Now I even have to take a pencil withare also a gazillion different pills and potions and
me and mark off each item as I place it in myoceans of lotions that claim to aid in memory
shopping cart, otherwise I come home with ten jarsenhancement.I keep buying them...I just can't
of peanut butter.I bumped into an old friend of mineremember where I put them!Leeuna Foster has been
the other day while at the grocery store. (thankwriting for two decades. Her fiction and poetry have
goodness she wasn't injured.) We were exclaimingwon several awards. She is also a regular contributer
over how long it had been since we had seen oneto StoryTime Tapestry and a syndicated columnists.
another. All the while I kept thinking 'Who in heaven'sHer latest book, Hangin' With the Rednecks is now
name IS this person?' I should have remembered her,available in print or in ebook form. Visit her website
but for the life of me I could not remember herfor details on how to purchase your copy...don't wait
name. We chatted for a few minutes and promisedfor the movie!