| You don't know it at the time, but a split-second | | | | trying to hide his dope, or a gun? The officer's mind |
| before you notice the red and blue flashing in your | | | | is buzzing. I wonder if his license is suspended, so he's |
| rear view mirror; a siren's scream makes you flinch. | | | | trying to find a legal spot to park his car, so it won't |
| Your cell phone leaps from your right hand and falls | | | | get towed. I wonder if he's wanted and is trying to |
| to the floor. The Diet Coke can in your left hand free | | | | lure me to a place where he can ambush me, or |
| falls into your lap, pooling into a cold, foamy puddle in | | | | escape on foot. I wonder if... |
| your crotch. | | | | Now look what you did? Do you think you've put |
| How long had the cop been there, you wonder. You | | | | Officer Friendly in the mood to give you a warning, |
| also wonder what the heck you did wrong. Did I run | | | | or do you think you've just created an Officer Nasty |
| a stop sign? Did I signal my turn? Was I speeding? | | | | who's now in a ticket-writin' mood? Yeah; that last |
| What is the speed limit, anyway? | | | | thing. |
| You continue to wonder what you did wrong; you | | | | If an officer stops you for a minor traffic violation |
| forget about your cell phone sliding around on the | | | | your best bet is to keep the officer in the best |
| floorboard and about the fizzy brown liquid soaking | | | | mood possible for when he ambles up to your |
| through your jeans, but instead of pulling over, you | | | | window. You know how they say you only get one |
| continue to drive. You just don't feel this is a good | | | | chance to make a first impression? Well, "they" are |
| place to stop; you're going to keep going until you | | | | pretty smart and perhaps you should listen to |
| find a better place to stop. | | | | them--or "they." The first impression the officer gets |
| Now, strangely, your thoughts turn from, what did I | | | | of you is what you do the moment after he turns on |
| do wrong, to, I didn't do anything wrong, and, why is | | | | his emergency lights. |
| this cop stopping me for no reason? I say, strangely, | | | | Well okay, it could be argued that it's the second |
| because presumably you'd prefer a friendly little | | | | impression after whatever bone-headed move he |
| warning to a nasty, and costly, ticket--right? Well, | | | | stopped you for, but for our purposes, you can |
| seems you're off to a bad start. | | | | redeem yourself by doing the following directly after |
| For one thing, the officer's already provided you with | | | | you see the police car's lights or hear its siren: slow |
| an excellent clue as to where to stop your car; it's | | | | down, safely pull to the right side of the roadway, |
| where he first switched on his emergency lights. For | | | | and stop your car. You'd be surprised how often this |
| further clarification, let's eavesdrop on Johnny Law's | | | | seemingly simple task is stretched, twisted, skewed, |
| thoughts for a moment: Geez, he cruised right | | | | or simply discarded. |
| through the stop sign--barely slowed down. Better | | | | Later we'll discuss what comes after you've safely |
| stop him and have a chat. This looks like a good | | | | pulled over. And no, it's not you saying, "Don't you |
| place to stop; the officer thinks as he reaches down | | | | have anything better to do?" to the nice officer who |
| and flips on his red and blue lights. | | | | stopped you. |
| Wonder why this guy won't stop? I wonder if he's | | | | |